buku

saya tak suka mengemas..!
wow...
haha...
don't get me wrong ya...
saya suka mengemas....
tapi.....
one thing...
bila time nak lap brg2 lama or re-arrange brg2 lama....
it will takes more time...
why? sbb every pieces of it can bring back memory...
so....
i will end up remembering the memory..
yg manis, takpela...
yg pahit... gulp... telan je la k...

how amazing a picture can tell us thousand of stories...
how amazing a card can makes me smile...
and how amazing a note makes me cry...
wow...
i'm getting there...
where?
the soft spot of me...
yg nanti mula la nak sedih tu..
ok ok..
we dont have to go there k...
=)

so, what did i do? since i have a lot..
i really mean it when i say, A LOT of stuffs...
hmmm....
so... i sebenarnya kemas sbb i'm letting go those things sbb nak occupied my books.... yes... so, sorry.... atleast the books wont drag me to the memory land too often...
we just need to move on... right?

so, what did i do?
whoa.. the drastic one is...
i empty almost half of my closet.. haha...
yaaa... because i'm such a collector... susah nak buang brg.. konon2 everything ada value tersendiri.. mcm, baju ni pakai masa ni sini.. so, syg nak buang.. yayaya...

haha... so, i buang almost half of it... and my bags too..
yaa... ada byk gileeee handbag... so.... i put aside those utk bg je kat org sape2 yg nak...
so, after emptying it.. i masukkan plak dgn brg2 yg selama ni kat rak... so... now rak dah makin kosong... and ada part in my closet yg still kosong... guess what i do???
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hahahha... yes... penuhkan dgn buku lg.... can u imagine? hahahahha.... dlm almari tu utk buku2 yg dah guna... academic book utk semester lepas2...

so now... saya ada byk ruang2 kosong utk buku2 lain kat rak buku.... sgt sgt sgt suka... but hey.. bilik saya bukannya library...

sebenarnya penuh with my bear collection juga... yg sgt sgt sgt sgt syg nak let go...
so... hahaha.... a lot okayyyy!

so, end up... atas katil still kene ada buku.... why?
i will always put magazine or buku mcm readers digest next to me atas katil... since my bed is queen size and i'm sleeping alone, another part are for those magazine.. usually i will put 2... why???

sbb... i always have problem sleeping... so, i will read those books before i sleep... heee....

so, now everything is in the order...

what else?
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oh.. telling my mom that i want to throw away those stuff... haha...
guess what? umi said...

"wahh.... bagusnya nur nak let go of these stuff... all of these boleh bg org... good2... but, let me guess... u up to something too right? "

"eh... mana ada la umi... saje je nak buat sbb nak letak buku... buku byk sgt..."

"oh... ok...."

10 minutes later...

"mi, nur bosan la.. nanti minggu depan lepas masuk duit allowance, jom kita pi shopping... nak beli beg baru la..."

"dah agak dahhhhhh....... mesti ada sbb nak kemas2 brg ni... sbb nak beli yg baru..."

"eh.... takdela... er.... cuma mcm sambil menyelam minum air.."

"ish... apa la nak jadi ni.. u should save your money... and...."

then saya menyampuk,

"oh... umi tau... kat XXX ada design baru... mesti lawa kan handbag dia..."

"eh... yer ke? ok.. nak cari kasut la... "

hahahahah... can u see? like mother like daughter... saya baru je distract my mom... yipee! takyah simpan duit.. hahahah...

hasilnya... saje nak tunjuk buku2 yg kene baca utk exam... waaa! T.T

heeee.... i can have my ipod speaker, printer, bear, tudung and books all in one place.. oh, and handbag too! lol

p/s: did i tell u, bawah katil saya ni semuanya buku???

haha...

weirdo

friday dtg tak lama lg... heee... masa org happy... terbalik dgn saya...
jumaat... ya... jumaat ini... saya ada kelas....
wait for it...
sabtu juga....
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oh, did i tell u, termasuk ahad? hehe...
best tak?
eh.. mestilaaa....
pffffftt....

takley update blog... kelas habis kul 945pm... drive balik rumah dah kul 11pm... esok tu kelas kul 9 pagi... zzzzZZZZzzzz...

haha... but the best thing is... jalan tak jem... heee..

this week will be my last class... then, i will be having my mock test... then, revision class 3 hari berturut2... nak bincang result mock test la tuuuuuu...
then.... june....
dup dap
dup dap
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exam... heee....

taknak stress out dulu...
nak stress masa revision class nanti boleh?
sbb nak pegi konvo nanti happy2..
=)
=)
senyum sorang2...
weirdo....

haha....

makes me smile

no matter how small that thing is.. kdg2, impaknya sgt besar.. why do i said so? sbb nowdays, saya tersenyum sbbkan benda2 kecik itu... apakah? let me share a bit of those things...

1. bila saya tgk gambar pemandangan seperti langit yg sgt cerah... or, tumbuhan hijau...

2. having my cat sit beside me walaupun dia terpaksa bersempit, but, dia insist nak dok dekat2 gak...

3. bila saya bangun lambat, my cat will keep on mengiau depan pintu bilik sampai la saya bangun... then bila bukak pintu, dia mengiau byk2 mcm tgh membebel n watch me brushing my teeth.. haha...

4. bila bukak youtube, ada video from org2 yg menarik n sgt sgt kelakar..

5. bila bukak blog, ada comment! =)

6. bila bbm saya berbunyi... hehe.... asyik sunyi jeee???

7. bila tlg mak buat apam polka dot, tapi saya asyik makan jem tu.. hahahha....

8. bila abg saya ckp apam tu lawa! hahahah... sbb dia sgt pandai masak... so, bila dia puji, mcm sgt bangga... hahahaha....

9. bila my friends texted me and say they love me and miss me... auuwww... =)

10. bila saya takley tido malam, and kebetulan ada majalah kat sebelah utk dibaca...

11. kepuasan habiskan sesuatu buku.... =) i can never explain this... terutamanya if its a great book written by a great person...

12. dgn berbaring atas katil n have a look kat rak buku... i love the feeling watching the fact that i have a lot of books.... everywhere in my room, books... hehe...

13. perasaan minum vanilla ice blended... if possible with black pearl.. heee... and, nak kat satu tempat ni... less than rm5, but sedap gile... yg starbucks nye vanilla pun tak dpt lawan...

14. and.... eating dimsum!!! and currently, sushi tooo!!!! suka sgt sgt sgt sgt...

15. bila duduk borak dgn kawan 2-3 jam berckp mcm2 perkara...

16. bila tgk org tersenyum... =) rasa nak senyum gak...

and... byk lg...
benda2 simple je...
but, i dunno... it makes me smile.. =)

heee...

heee.... tadi mood baik.. tlg my mom....
tadaaaa! apam polka dot!

jar of hearts

i just like this song... =) don't u?

sejak bila?

enough with the sedih week...

this week ada kelas...

so... time to be happy...

dpt jumpa kawan2...

=)

yes....

btw, kenapa.... kenapa by any chance... saya jadi takut nak tulis lg... nak luahkan lg kat blog ni... sbb bila tulis status kat fb generally pun kene tegur... kat blog takyah ckp la... hmm... but, attact dtg dari sorang je... why oh why? can't i speak? can't i write? kalau kau tak suka, back off.... why oh why u must try to ensure i tak tulis dah? apa masalah anda sebenarnya? u said, cukup2 la tu kat saya... but, have u ever think, cukup2 la tu nak kutuk saya? what did i do u wrong?

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think

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i'm not an angel... saya pun ada buat silap... but, i can still remember clearly.... saya tak kacau awk.... but, u keep on ckp, stop writing whatever i doing.... why????

in the first place, i tak suh u baca.... u jumpa my blog pun i taktau mcm mana... then, why u nak emo tak tentu pasal? and lgpun, i can say la... my entry mostly tentang the pain and how i'm trying to live my life... tak penah tulis pasal u... until recently bila u keep on berkicauan bising2 suh stop... penah tgk tak? blog ni mula sejak bila???????????? argghhh....

i'm living my life... so... can u live yours? u know... a piece yg advise.... bila saya baca blog tentang org sakit... or kesakitan mereka or kebahagian mereka, saya tak rasa mereka pura2... setiap org ada bahagian masing2... i wont understand betapa kesakitan itu... and, that's why i respect them... tuhan dah sediakan bahagian saya... dan mereka dgn bahagian mereka... hmmm..

so... stop... =)

ok?

ok... if u dont like... i won't write it down kat fb...

*walaupun that is my right...*

but, its ok...

but hey.....

i tak tulis kat fb....

kat twitter pun....

so... my blog...

jgn kacau....

like seriously....

kau ada cara kau sendiri...

i never question it...

so....

don't u cross the line....

this is my place....

like seriously...

asyik nak jaga perasaan org....

takkan kat blog pun kene jaga lg?

yg pelik tu....

kau melenting nape?

well... siapa makan cili, dia terasa pedas...

enough said...

=)

btw, this blog...

hmmm...

this is mine...

the only place i can write...

the place yg stop me from falling a part....

a place where i takkan susahkan org...

i dont need siapa2 nye masa...

this is my time...

me and only me...

do respect it...

ok?

=)

dia ckp...

cukup2 la tu....

tak habis2 lg ke?

saya ckp...

tapi, ini hidup saya...

awk apa tau?

=)

what say u?

kepada sesiapa yg berkenaan...

i dunno how to tell u this...

but, when u asked me on how i live my life...

as if, i can have two types of life...

i can be a cheerful person, but, in this blog, the other part of me...

how do i do that?

well, with a magic trick, u can do it too!

heee

no laaa...

so, how exactly it is?

i can say this..

Allah swt always with me...

sbb tu i'm still the same me...

sbb tu, despite all the pain...

i can still act normal n laugh in front of my friends...

and because i can also think...

kalau nak layan kesedihan... ada batasannya...

bila kita bersendirian...

bila waktu itu waktu kita....

but bila waktu itu waktu kita dan family or kawan2 kita...

takkan kita nak rosakkan mood semua org?

so... lets be happy...

that is the way it is...

tu pandangan saya la..

what say u?

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but, apa pun, kene hormati diri...

kene bg masa kat diri kita...

kalau diri tgh sakit, bg peluang utk luahkan kesakitan itu...

kenapa saya kata begitu?

sbb saya tau mcm mana rasa sakit itu...

bila sakit itu dtg, saya pernah tersungkur....

saya masih igt lg...

masa tu... tahun lepas....

ketika kami semua bertarung... (wah, bertarung ke?)

bertarung utk semester terakhir...

saya nampak ok je...

happy2....

but there is this one time...

i just cant take it...

bukan sbb study....

but, sbb hal hati....

what i do? saya pernah menangis senyap2 dlm bilik...

tapi masa tu.. duduk rumah sewa.. berkongsi bilik dgn kawan baik...

hmmm...

saya ckp nak tido awal...

but, hakikatnya... menangis....

but, satu ketika tu, kawan saya perasan....

akhirnya.... mereka semua... ya... mereka semua..

nasib baik kawan rumah tu semua mmg kawan baik saya...

mereka semua tanya kenapa sebenarnya dgn saya...

i try... i really try to tell...

but, there's always something i can't tell...

so, i end up in the shower... cry n cry.. but...

kemudian, diri ini sedar sendiri... takley ikutkan hati...

so, amik wudhuk, terus solat...

and, end up... menangis di hujung solat itu...

sakit.. betul....

hmmm...

ada juga satu ketika... masa tu, lepas exam...

kawan serumah ada yg keluar...

tinggal sorang ni...

so what i do?

bwk dia pi makan...

and, i just dont want to go back rumah sewa..

saya takut akan sedih lg....

so...

i end up bwk kawan saya tu round2 tanpa hala tujuan...

about 1 hour....

sbb apa?

just utk tenangkan hati...

so... siapa kata saya tak penah bersedih?

hell ya...

but, i tak bgtau...

should i?

no....

bukan semua yg mendengar itu ialah org yg nak dgr...

kan?

so, ya... kalau awk ckp awk sakit... saya juga tau sakit itu....

saya pernah laluinya...

cerita saya tu? mungkin 1% drpd kesakitan itu je...

but now, masa tu dah berlalu....

and now... i know i'm stronger than before...

the part of me yg org taktau...

but i'm sharing a bit of it...

even if no one care...

i just wanted to let it out...

=)

think

nak tau serabut mcm mana hati ni?

senang je....

tgk berapa byk entry yg muncul in one time...

haha....

i want to write...

but...

there's something holding me back...

hmmm....

ok.... maybe one by one?

baru la it is easy to write...

coz, kdg2 bila nak tulis tu... tetiba semua rasa nak dtg in one time...

susah tau!

huhu...

ok...

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the pain, i had wrote about it a lot... now, isu lain.. k?

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isu apa lg?

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dilemma... i want to do something, but, i taktau kemampuan diri.. can i do it? or not? and, is this a right decision? what is the right one? no one know.. except for Allah swt.. am i right?

i want to do something, but, i will end up being alone...

eh wait...

bila sakit tu dtg... bila org tak faham... that is what i want... to be alone... i wish that i can go somewhere else where people takkan judge me...

hmmm...

atleast it will meet my objective...

let me think about it....