Byk

Bila ada terlalu byk difikiran, i jadi more and more grumpy.. Ada je yg tak kene akan saya tinggikan suara.. And selepas tinggikan suara, i will always realized how bad it is and try to makes things right.. Hmm.. But kdg2, bila fikirkan balik, siapa suruh tangguhkan kerja, sbb tu la otak semak dgn benda2 tu.. If saya teruskan buat sesuatu n siapkan, i wont be too stress like now.. Haih!

After i think about the question i asked on the previous entry, i dont think i need an answer.. People changed is a normal thing.. Its like i want to ask why cat loves fish or why the moon is round.. U get what i mean? Hee.. We dont have to understand everything.. :)

Why

So hard when i try to decide on something small, i make a big deal of it.. Heee.. Ok, put it this way, i'm just someone who loves to plan what i should be doing in advance.. Even if i'm out, usually i will plan my road n destination.. But this is partly because i'm sucks in remembering roads and i will end up to somewhere else.. Huhu.. I can even lost if i use GPS.. Haih, it think it is due to because i get annoyed easily by the voice that keep on recalculating the route and ask me to turn right or left.. And because i dont trust the device as it keep on giving me the route that are far than it should be.. Hmmm..

Eh, my point is, i always plan in advance what i should do.. I dont want to miss ou any important factors.. And yes, that is actually not a pleasant act.. Lol.. Can u imagine how stress i am when everything i planned for is not on track? Heee.. So yeah, i try to be more spontaneous and it actually work except of the part im still always lost while driving.. Hee.. And guess what, i actually enjoy organizing my schedule.. I feels more alive when i have a schedule to follow.. Now that i think about it, i think i'm such a boring person.. Lol! Heee...

Btw, why is it when we grow older, we change? I dont like to do the things i used to love and i enjoy do something i used to hate.. Haih.. Trying to understand every single thing is hard..

Bagus?

Been trying so hard so that she accept me as i am.. But i guess that is just too much to ask from her.. So, here i am.. I give up.. I dah cuba sebaik mungkin, but im not good enough.. And i dont want this to drag me down or buat saya sedih.. Cukuplah.. She herself is not so much a good person.. Plus, apa yg dia igtkan dia tu bagus sgt? Huh!

Short

Hidup kita tak sempurna.. Tp, kita cuba utk hargai segalanya utk hidup lebih bahagia.. :) kdg2 hidup kita sgt menyakitkan, tp, kita cuba utk kekalkan yg manis utk kita lebih bersyukur.. Tp, ada kalanya, beban tu sgt berat.. Dan kita tak mampu nak pikulnya.. Tp, yg penting, kita nak cuba juga.. :) i want to be able to wake up 10 yrs later and says how stupid i am to do it rather than how scared i am of not even trying..

Life is too short to keep on whining.. :)

Kenapa?

Kdg2, bila kita dah buat salah sekali, ada org takkan mampu maafkan kita dan sentiasa akan igt hal tu and even bila kita dah try our best to be a better person, apa saje yg kita buat hanya akan annoy org tu.. Walaupun kita bg perhatian pada dia more than kita layan org lain, walaupun kita bersabar dgn dia more than org lain, but disbbkan silap yg lalu, nothing is good enough and kehadiran kita tak dialukan sgt.. Even if dia terima, hanya secara luaran.. This is exactly what my friend told me.. Susah nak berbaik semula bila org tu dah bencikam kita.. Cuma, hal ni buat saya berfikir..

Kenapa perlu org itu berusaha amik hati org yg bencikan dia? Oh, katanya kerana itu lah kawan baiknya yg dia syg.. Tp, persoalannya, berbaloikah dia dilayan mcm tu? Dia dah berusaha amik hati, tp, org yg taknak maafkan dia tu hukum dia terlalu berat.. Dia abaikan perasaan org tu dan biarkan saje org yg terus terusan amik hati dia.. Bila dia malas nak layan, kata2 dia sgt sinis.. Haih... Bila fikir balik, saya rasa tak berbaloi utk org tu bersabar lg.. Saya faham dia sygkan persahabatan tu, tp, apa gunanya bila usaha dia dilihat sebagai merimaskan dan apa saje yg dia lakukan dilihat sebagai annoying? Apa guna dia amik hati bila org tu dgn terang terang katakan yg dia takde kawan baik dan takde kawan yg dia percayai? Apa guna?

But yeah, tu pendapat saya.. Kawan saya tentu lebih tau.. :)

my current fav - 1st

OMG, suka sgt lagu ni... bley dgr one whole nite n cry...



Christine Perri The lonely

my current fav - 2nd

• sara bareilles breathe again

look back

dlm hidup ni... kita kene sentiasa pandang positive...

kalau susah mcm mana pun, look back... dulu kita kuat kan? insyaAllah kita akan jadi lagi kuat...

kalau kita gagal, look back... kejayaan lama pun bukan senang utk dicapai,kan? ada byk halangan juga kan... insyaAllah, kita boleh...

kalau kita hilang semangat... look back.... ada sesuatu yg tersirat dan berharga yg keep us running... insyaAllah....

yg penting, bila kita rasa keseorangan... look back.... ada family dan kawan2 yg menyokong.... pandang la itu.. itu lebih berharga drpd org2 yg ingin menarik kita jatuh... =) and again, Allah sentiasa dgn kita...

=)

tenang

ok, pengakuan jujur....
sebenarnya sejak mula kelas hari tu masa july, i'm not happy.... partly sbb ada paper yg kene amik sorang2.... mmg hati tak happy.. takde semangat... haih....

but, now, rasa ni... Alhamdulillah... hati dan fikiran ni mula bertenang... harap2 lepas ni bila mula kelas, dpt la semangat tu kembali...

Pray for me ya?

=)

thanks....