No.. I shouldnt be like this.. Even if i write 1000 words about how sad i am, that will not help me..
Ya Allah, i know this is a test from You.. And i should be strong enough to face it.. And even if this is very painful as i cant share it with no one, i can always count on You.. Its just me that occasionally forget about You, but i'm sure You never forget me as the test is a sign that i need to be reminded.. am i right?
Ya Allah, i am in pain.. i wish i can settle up my probs and be strong. I just want to do what i'm good in.. Or atleast i think i'm good at this.. This is one of the way for me to change my life.. Oh God, why is it hard for me to be strong? Am i that weak? I just want to cry and let go of this.. I know i can.. Please guide me Allah.. And please let me cry this once to let go of everything and start it with a new stronger me.. Amin..
I know, it is not ok to tell people that i'm ok when i'm not, however, it is not right for me to tell people about some secret huh? A secret will remain as a secret.. Even by lying that i'm ok.. :((
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